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Anger Problems

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26 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 05:42 am

When I´m extremely annoyed and pissed those sounds make it even worse. I feel like my senses are provoked.

But in general those sounds can calm me down too. It helps when my head is racing.

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27 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 05:52 pm

DOJ

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I noticed a thread asking about my banning on HOJ, and being unable to defend myself there is very frustrating. But I'll do my best to explain it here.

For one, the reason I was banned, yes, I did publicly bash and insult DLB on there. I make no attempt to hide that. I publicly insulted him on his birthday and posted several extremely crude remarks about him that led to a fight of sorts and the remark that pretty much sealed my fate there was when I said Fuck anyone who likes Saw III or Darren after I exploded following an anti-Amanda remark or something those lines I saw posted in the old Amanda Fans thread. I was quite riled up when I saw it and lost my temper on the spot. I cooled down a bit later, but it was too late as Nya had banned me by then. I did feel genuinely bad for what happened and still do, and believe me, nobody has been more affected or upset by the situation than me. Not for my banning, but for feelings I hurt and tensions I brewed, and also for publicly insulting DLB. I felt so bad for bashing him I even wrote a letter of apology to him and sent it to him via MySpace. I never got a response from him, but I hope he read it and accepted it. I felt I owed it to him after what I posted about him.

Regarding why I was banned in the past, the first time was back in December 2007 after some crude offsite remarks I said about Nya as at the time I didn't know him well and made assumptions about him based on comments I'd been told about him and it didn't paint a good picture of him in my mind. It wasn't until I got to know him a little better than I found out much of what I'd been told about him was untrue and was based on assumptions rather than the facts. The other three times (March, April and August 2008) were over fights a member I won't name here baited me into fighting with him over our clashing opinions of Saw III. I had known this member for sometime already on another board we were on and he would always bait me into Saw III and try to invalidate my opinion of the film and pass his opinions as facts and mine as invalid, untrue, etc. and the peak of this fighting hit it's stride in March 2008 when in a thread discussing the Saw III Director's Cut I said I didn't like the DC ending because I found it unintentionally funny. He asked me why and I said it was just the way Angus' performance came off that it came off that way to me. He still kept asking me why, saying my reason wasn't a reason and I told him I already said so, and he kept insisting my reasoning wasn't reasonable. Finally, it ended up with him trying to shoot down my opinion of the film and by this point I got sick of it and I exploded onto him with every possible insult and attack you can think of. The fight lasted for a few days before the thread was eventually closed and I got banned for a week. I was baited into arguments with this person twice more before Nya had enough and insisted we both ignore each other, which we did, and this member never bothered me again after this.

Regarding the statements about me picking fights with people who like Saw III, I'll admit there were times I would say "Why do people like Saw III so much?" or "Why is Saw II ranked so low?" but I wouldn't outright fight with anybody over it. A few intense debates here and there, but nothing that was overly heated or argumentive. I'll admit a few comments I've made crossed the line (such as suggesting most Saw III fans suck up to Leigh for the film), but no true offense was ever intended nor the intent for fighting. Some relative newcomer members who would sometimes debate me over Saw III and Amanda were unaware of my past arguments and debates I've had over the film and may not have been aware of what a touchy and sensitive subject it is for me, so some of these people are not entirely to blame for debating a topic with me they had no idea was an intense topic for me considering my past arguments over it. But as far as deliberately picking or instigating fights or baiting people, that is something I've never willfully done.

Some people aren't aware of the tooth and nail effort I've made to control myself and get my anger and impulsiveness under control after what happened on HOJ back in January. I've attended group therapy, listening to relaxing music and have done other measures to keep myself calm and collected. I've even seriously considered becoming a Buddhist after reading up on Buddhism and it seems like something that can bring something resembling peace and control in my life (if not Buddhism, at least aspects of it in my life). I'm well-aware of what I did last time on HOJ and make no attempt to hide it nor make any excuses for it. What I did was inexcusable, immature and irresponsible, and I knew better than to explode the way I did and especially over something so trivial. The next time I'm feeling in such a bad mood I feel I may explode like that again, I've devised the simple solution of staying offline until I feel better for posting again. Better that than to get a permaban over something so trivial, mundane and meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, I hope this clears up a lot for some people and sets the record straight. And for the record, I'm NOT AmandaAvenger. DOJ is my only account and anyone who doubts it, the staff can look up my IP address and see I have only one account.



Last edited by DOJ on 12/04/09, 09:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

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28 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 06:09 pm

Vinc360

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That thread shouldn't even have been made. Let's keep this kind of things out of this forum. It only brings useless trouble and drama.


And btw that typo you made when you said "some people aren't aware of the tooth" made me lol. zD


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29 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 06:12 pm

DOJ

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You can C&P my above post in that thread if you'd like, but the thread will probably be deleted later. I don't publicly talk about this much anyway, and probably shouldn't.

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30 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 06:35 pm

Vinc360

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Nope I won't. It'll just add fuel to the fire. Most people know what happened and already have their own opinion on the subject. There's no need to start talking about it again. It'll only cause more useless and annoying drama...


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31 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 06:42 pm

DOJ

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Maybe reporting the post for deletion is the best thing to do :/

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32 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 08:42 pm

DOJ

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Okay, I feel the need to say this after seeing the most recent posts in that thread. For one, the comparison of Saw III fans to Hitler, what I said at one point during a thread where I was arguing with the unnamed member in the thread where he tried to invalidate my opinion on Saw III. I got so pissed at him when he kept baiting me and trying to say my opinion was false and invalid that I said these things to really get to him because I simply lost my cool with him. I'll admit that yes, I DID threaten him with violence and I did say something along the lines that Saw fans liking Saw III was comparable to a Jewish person liking Hitler. I said these because I was pissed and he was baiting me and pushing my buttons, and he knew it. I'm not the first person he's done that with and he's done that with me at another board, which resulted in him getting warned quite a few times because he would always bait me on why I hated Saw III and try to invalidate my opinion and say my reasons for hating the film were false. I wish people would take the time to learn the facts before blowing things out of proportion or making assumptions.

And to show I'm being honest and not attempting to hide anything, here is the thread in question.

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33 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 08:49 pm

Vinc360

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Just forget about this.


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34 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 08:52 pm

DOJ

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I have to defend myself against what's being said against me (HOJ members on there are more than welcome to come over here and talk it through with me here). I saw The Dark Shape's last post and my response to that is overcoming extreme anger and impulsiveness is something that takes time and effort, and isn't something that happens overnight. I've been struggling to overcome it more than ever now. You think I'm attending group sessions for the Hell of it? A part of the reason is because it's helpful in keeping myself calm, cooled and level-headed. We all have bad days but we shouldn't let bad days get the better of us and not hinder our personalities. We all go through rough spots in our lives, but those rough spots shouldn't ruin us.

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35 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 09:03 pm

Vinc360

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Nope... nope you don't have to defend yourself against that. There's no point in doing that.

You should just avoid situations that make you angry until you fix that issue. You didn't do that when you were still on HOJ, that's why some people didn't "forgive" you. It happened quite a lot of times. Just accept their opinion and move on. There's not much you can do about it and if you TRY to do something about it it'll end in a big argument that would be completely useless.


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36 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 09:07 pm

DOJ

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I just want to clarify myself here. Anyone from HOJ who comes here can find out everything. I don't attempt to hide anything or excuse it. Yes, I DID once compare Saw III fans to Jews who like Hitler in the thread that became a huge fight between me and the member I've mentioned because he pissed me off and wouldn't leave me alone on the issue and I DID say I wished I could harm him. I fought with him many times over the film and I had it to there with him. I was in a terrible mood and not thinking clearly, and I think we all can say or do things we normally wouldn't when we're at our worst.

And for those of you who think this person is innocent and that I was being a bully to him, here is this post and the link to it for proof that he's baited me before and practically gotten away with insulting me a few times:


Yet another massive pile of wrong that's been debunked countless times.

It's well received by people that understand character dynamics and storytelling and aren't so blatantly biased toward one character that they'll blabber on for years about how the entire fucking movie sucks and "ruined the series" because it didn't work out well for them.

The character arc was shitty to blind as a bat mindless fanboys that don't know shit about characterization, and think one dimensional walking stereotypes make great characters.

Papa fucking Smurf could show up in SAW V and be the new fucking apprentice and torture Homer Simpson, but as long as Amanda is alive, you'll act like it's still a better movie than SAW III.

Yeah, SAW II is "perfect" filmmaking, but SAW III is one of the worst movies ever...that's not too ridiculously fucking biased to the point of absurdity.

Take the fucking blinders off already.

Loving SAW II and hating SAW III because of the way that Amanda was used is like loving a film for glorifying serial killers that ruin countless lives, but hating one that shows them being held accountable for their actions.

Your judgment of the series is about as reasonable as letting the father of the quarterback of the home team officiate the game and watching him call penalties on every single play that doesn't work to the advantage of his son, then insisting that his officiating was perfectly impartial and not blinded by personal bias.

No matter how good SAW III were, you'd imagine it being terrible in that closed little mind of yours because it doesn't work out for your precious Amanda.
I love her too, but I also know enough about filmmaking to recognize objective quality over a Silence of the Lambs and Cube hybrid rip off with stereotypical COPS cliches in it.


Scroll to the end of the thread to see the post for proof.

I'm not claiming to be innocent either, I AM guilty of losing my temper and having the extreme outburst I did that resulted in my banning. I accept full accountability for it. Don't think I'm trying to win sympathy, I'm not. I'm simply giving my side of the story.

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37 Re: Anger Problems on 12/04/09, 11:44 pm

Vinc360

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I think most people know enough about to story to have their own opinion on it. Most people moved on and just don't care anymore. I'd prefer if we didn't use this place to "clarify" any useless drama that happens on HOJ. I'll still leave your posts here though.


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38 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 12:13 am

DOJ

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Thanks. I just wanted to give my side of the story was all.

Anyway, back to the thread and it's intent. I've been doing what I can to cope. It won't ever go away but I can at least control my anger and live with it so long as I don't erupt like I have.

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39 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 01:04 am

the thing

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i actually like the member in question and i think he is a smart guy, and pretty cool once you get to know him (i've talked with him on myspace a little bit), but doj, he WAS being a prick to you. he was a prick to me in our argument over saw V (which was a stupidthing to argue over... but he started it, lol >_>). he talked down to me as if i were the village idiot simply because i thought saw V sucked. he provokes people and he knows it. he was provoking me and i've been wondering if it's part of the reason i may have gotten a referral. like i said, i like him but i honestly wonder if he can tell the difference between fact and opinion.

doj, you know i disagree with you regarding saw III but i respect your opinion, and i think it's great that you've been working on your anger issues and i can tell it's been working. all the best, man.

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40 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 01:12 am

DOJ

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Thank you. And yes, that guy in question has baited me numerous times and those arguments you've seen are FAR from the only ones we've had. On another board I was on where he was also a member, he actually resulted in quite a few Saw threads being closed because he kept baiting me and pissing off the staff because he kept trying to pass his opinions as facts and wouldn't disagree respectfully and move on. I've seen him argue with you over Saw V, and the best advice I can give is to ignore him and report him to Nya or another moderator so he stops provoking you (and his provoking can easily cross the line into outright harassment when he continues to bait). I can't tell you enough how much he frustrates me and he pissed me off so much he resulted in me getting suspended three times from HOJ because he wouldn't respectfully disagree and leave me alone over my opinion on Saw III/Amanda.

I really do hope Nya will take that all into account for my case, since those times I had provocation and reacted out of anger to what he posted towards me. What happened last time was a bad error in judgment on my part and getting riled up over something trivial and mundane.

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41 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 03:31 pm

TylerTehSawBoy

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DOJ wrote:The group sessions I attend aren't really an anger management group per say (it's a group for people who have Asperger's Syndrome, which I was diagnosed with a few months
I was diagnosed with Asperger's back in 2005. I'm kinda used to it, though. I also have anger problems. But these 2 songs help me calm down when I'm mad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt7ySBDsLeA - On The Wings of a Butterfly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uM2uMVqsM - Celestial Soda Pop

You should listen to these songs when your mad, DOJ.

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42 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 04:58 pm

DOJ

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Thanks for the recommendations, I'll give those a listen.

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43 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 07:52 pm

TylerTehSawBoy

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DOJ wrote:Thanks for the recommendations, I'll give those a listen.
K.

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44 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 07:55 pm

DOJ

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I also recommend the nature sounds I posted. It's amazing how relaxing and calming those can be.

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45 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:15 pm

TylerTehSawBoy

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DOJ wrote:I also recommend the nature sounds I posted. It's amazing how relaxing and calming those can be.
K. I check that out.

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46 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:17 pm

DOJ

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I must say that it also helps a lot for sleeping difficulty. I have a lot of sleeping problems and listening to that helps me to get in the appropriate relaxed mood.

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47 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:25 pm

TylerTehSawBoy

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DOJ wrote:I must say that it also helps a lot for sleeping difficulty. I have a lot of sleeping problems and listening to that helps me to get in the appropriate relaxed mood.
I'll try that when I can't sleep.

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48 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:26 pm

DOJ

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Speaking of sleep, I feel my poor sleeping patterns are probably a contributor to my mood swings, sometimes. Not getting proper sleep and getting up too late, etc.

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49 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:35 pm

TylerTehSawBoy

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DOJ wrote:Speaking of sleep, I feel my poor sleeping patterns are probably a contributor to my mood swings, sometimes. Not getting proper sleep and getting up too late, etc.
Tell me about it.

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50 Re: Anger Problems on 13/04/09, 08:41 pm

DOJ

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Me being an online addict doesn't help, either :/

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